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Glossary

The following are common terms or themes that one may come across while reading our blog:

Blocking the box– v – Female equivalent of cock blocking; Interfering in an interaction between two people in a way that delays the inevitable or throws it off course altogether. Such interaction should be done sparingly and is socially acceptable when it is clear that the person in question’s judgement is chemically or otherwise impaired.

Crickets: Painful silence that occurs when your call/email/text/IM/smoke signal is not returned.

Ejectile dysfunction: Inability to leave a bad relationship. Symptoms include: countless hours spent whining to friends about significant other, excuse-making, and general malaise.

Personaenongratamy – n – The process by which a person can be removed from one’s life.  This can be achieved by simply ceasing to initiate contact in most scenarios.  More severe cases of ejectile dysfunction require the the express notification be communicated to the offending party.

This involves:

  1. Archiving or disposing of memorabilia, photos and correspondence.
  2. Online community connections must be reviewed and severed on a case by case basis.
  3. Temporary hiatus from mutual contacts to avoid unhealthy run-ins and the temptation of trash talking. (Keep it classy folks – wait ’til you have advance check on the book deal before spilling the beans.)
  4. Delete or address book and cell phone entries.  At a minimum, contact information should be archived or obscured from easy access employing prefixes (such as “z” or clear directives like “DON’T CALL”).

Photoshoperama: Enhancing your pictures with a little help from Photo Shop. Adding a little lighting or shading under the left boob, but otherwise letting the goods speak for themselves.

Photo Shop Of Horrors: Result of flagrant profile photo over-editing. Signs include but are not limited to: Sky turns negative blue. Ex-girlfriend’s face has been replaced by the Walmart price-slasher happy face.

Superman: Ridiculous cute but fatally flawed man that keeps tracking Winnie and Sylvia down. Frequently lands on the pages of our blog.

Verbal Masterbation: Gratification through excessive self expression.

Vortext: Whirling black hole of obsessive texting or IM’ing with love interest that never actually results in a face-to-face date.

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