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Things that suck

June 23, 2010

Vampires. Jet engines. Mosquitos. Vortexes. Vacuums do too.

Speaking of vacuums, the Dyson DC24 Ball Vacuum is known to “turn on a dime without losing suction”.

Actually, I saw one GAIN suction last week… when it showed up (FULFILLED!) on my ex-boyfriend’s bridal registry.

You might be wondering how I came to see my ex’s bride’s shopping list. It’s, uhhhh, a crazy story. Yeh- so there I was, walking down the street minding my own business. A one armed man with a laptop accosted me and dragged me to an abandoned warehouse that was totally empty except for high speed cable modem and fully functional wifi router. After a bitter struggle, I was duct taped to a cinder block and made me peruse the registries and read every section of the happy couple’s wedding website.

Well, that’s my cover story anyways. Truth is that every now and again I use the “research technique“, developed by my co-blogger, to “catch up on” the milestones of former flames. This involves looking up an ex’s name in the Registry Listing on the ever popular wedding website, theknot.com. Sure, I initially came to the site looking for floral arrangement ideas for my brother’s upcoming wedding. While I was there, i figured there was no harm in looking up Hakan’s name, right? The search always came back empty before, and that provided a certain amount of relief. Relief that his indecision was not specific to me. It’s petty, but it made me feel better…

…until I learned that he will be the groom on July 24th, 2010.

Not for nothin’, but I put in my 5 years with the same dude and didn’t score a ring or a $450 vacuum.

Now THAT sucks.

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