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Online hating

February 16, 2009

The recipient of this email will have to forgive me for posting this without her permission. It’s just too good to pass up. What makes this so ridiculous is that it’s the first (and I pray, the only) email she received from Rick.

Personally, I think this guy’s on to something. This is like some sort online dating “pay-it-forward”. Here I had to go and spend thousands on psychotherapy when I could have just written a bunch of emails to my parents…uh… I mean, ex-boyfriend… ummm, whoops… “potentially romantic match” about how I felt about their inevitable rejection of me….

Why didn’t I think of that?

– W

P.S. for Rick:
“inevitable”: i-ˈne-və-tə-bəl adjective: incapable of being avoided or evaded.
Getting inappropriate emails from people like you is “inevitable”.

Dear Ms. Matched,

You’re certainly a very beautiful girl and seem to have a kind heart. But I don’t know if I can relate to the choice of words in your profile. It reads somewhat more like a resume for a high profile job, than it does a letter to a potentially romantic match.

Hey, my sister is a psychologist and as you’re probably aware, she spent over a decades of her life, writing essays and reports. However, she knew how to relate to people in a more comfortable and inviting way.

To write that you are extemporaneous and sagacious, says to me, nothing more than you have a wall up that only the elite educated can get through. With that said, I do wish you the best in your searches. Please don’t take offense at this, I’m just at a point in here that a good woman is so hard to find, that when I do find one, she’s got a wall up that is too high for me to climb over. I may end up old and alone some day, but at least I’ve been free enough to express my feelings to people.

Take care,


One Comment leave one →
  1. Sylvia Winchester permalink
    February 16, 2009 5:32 PM

    Please consider this comment an after-the-fact blessing for sharing and providing commentary on the schaudenfraud of my online dating inbox.

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