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Best Weak Ever

January 15, 2009

Dear Social Media Ad Planners,

I would like to commend you on the bang-up job you are doing with your targeted marketing initiatives. Your grasp of the thirty-something spinster demographic is nothing short of nuanced. A less cynical group of professionals would have written me off – but not you.

Thank you for connecting me to the resources for slimming down my fat ass.

Thank you for deeming me worthy of opportunities to meet sexy singles.

Thank you for seeing my potential even when he’s not that into me.

Thank you for believing that once I dupe some poor schmoe into calling me back, I will have use for that cubic zirconium engagement ring emporium link you so kindly keep at my currently unadorned finger tips.

Most of all, thanks for not rubbing it in and making me feel like the desperate cat lady that I am clearly on my way to becoming.


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