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Web Two-Point-I-Gotta-Know

May 15, 2008

We’ve all been there. The person with whom you shared a magical evening (and, perhaps, the subsequent morning) pulls a Houdini. You’re left to wonder…

  • Are they pinned under a heavy object with their cell phone just out of reach? (Your name on their lips just before blacking out, naturally.)
  • Do you smell bad?  Does your mother dress you funny?
  • Could that ‘comptroller’ job be a cover? (I’m thinking foreign operative/sleeper agent.)

When (s)he’s just not that into you is not an adequate explanation there is website offering to intervene. The folks at ‘Why Was I Dissed?’ are at the forefront of farming out awkward tasks to a third party. The premise is simple: submit a request and they will contact your date, investigate and e-mail you with the answer to an age old question: “Why-gawd-ohhh-why???” An additional value added service is provided to the recipient: confirmation that you’re a socially challenged weirdo with a high-grade internet addiction who seriously needs to crack a window.

Whatever happened to the good old days when penning a form letter was creepy enough? I’m not saying I don’t see the value in seeking potentially self-defeating feedback. Clearly, that thirst must be slaked. Still, I dream of the day where people can get answers without cutting out the personal touch of real life rejection. I have a few ideas.

  • Pre-pre-nuptial contracts imprinted on cocktail napkins. (Arbitration clause is legally binding in 48 states, the District of Columbia and the Republic of Liberia.)
  • Comment card. Just slip one under the spare pillow with a mint. (Turn down service is another nice touch for those fond of foreshadowing.)
  • If your friends are tired of dissecting that last text message, a premium service upgrade is available. This includes unlimited access to our call center in India. (Vely, vely helpful operators are waiting to be taking your call.)

That or we could start by resisting the temptation assume that other peoples’ decisions have everything to do with us.

How about this: maybe we should consider the possibility that dropping off the face of the earth is enough to tell us what we need to know. Should we really be looking for answers from a stranger who can’t be bothered to call?

Is it possible that we would be better off listening to the voice speaking from within and the opinions of those who have earned our trust?

Nah… let’s just sign-up.

(Next up: GCal integration for your ‘Diss Appointment’.)

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. NancyP permalink
    May 26, 2008 5:16 AM

    I would go with listening to our inner voice. There is no one to blame if something goes wrong and you can come over any grief much faster.

  2. NancyP permalink
    May 28, 2008 4:02 AM

    Hello again. Wanted to turn you onto an ultra cool quiz I found at http://www.mydatingpatterns.com It tells you for real which Sex & the City girl you are most like. It’s created by a psychologist and is the real deal. I am a Samantha (which is totally right on). I think you will love this. I can’t wait to see the movie on Friday!!!!

  3. mizzsylviawinchester permalink
    May 28, 2008 11:39 AM

    Thanks for the tip! We will definitely have to check that out. I haven’t taken a test yet, but I’m guessing I’m a Carrie/Charlotte hybrid.

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