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Little Photoshop of Horrors

May 9, 2008

I was so excited to see that Photoshop released a free version of its software (Photoshop Express). Within minutes of signing up, I was gleefully lightening, cropping, and creating picture doodles to my hearts content. Then I realized the implications for online daters who just can’t resist the powers of Photoshop.

Case in point: Back in my single days, I remember coming across some a clear case of Photoshop of Horrors. Of the ten or so pictures he posted with his profile, the first few were standard issue: awwww.. there he is with grams, there he is on vacation, doing something sporty, at a wedding with his friends, etc..

Given all of these nice, normal pictures, I was unprepared for what came next. Up pops a photo of him with what I assume in the light of day was a very atttractive blonde woman. But he had slapped a bright yellow happy face on her. To make matters worse, two disembodied fingers emerged from her face, flashing a peace sign. In the next picture, her face was replaced by an even bigger brighter yellow happy face, this time wrapped in a U.S. flag bandana.

So not groovy, man.

I write all of this assuming that there isn’t some deadly affliction that renders eyes, nose, and mouth mere thin black lines on round, bright yellow face. If there is, then people of the world, forgive me. I know not what I say.

Photoshop should be used for good, not evil. Unless you’re Tucker Max. See Tucker Max’s Almost Banned Miss Vermont Story.

To review:

Good = cropping, red-eye reduction, correcting over/under exposure.

Bad = removing or significantly altering features the Good Lord gave you, whitening out or otherwise disfiguring your ex as some sort of cosmic payback.

Please people, ‘shop responsibly.

– W

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