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Variations on a Theme: The Chicken Florentine E-mail

April 13, 2008

Dear Non-Committal Yet Sexy Male Friend:

So, I’m gonna toss you what my friend and I call “chicken florentine email”. Story goes she had been writing back and forth with a guy friend of hers about getting together, but he was stubbornly entrenched in pen pal status. At one point, he solicited recipe suggestions as part of his effort to domesticate his inner dude.

So, in a valiant attempt to get this trooper out of the trenches and on to the field, she asked him to come over and show her how to make his apparently famous chicken florentine. What she got in return was what we call in the dating world “crickets”. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Particularly Mr. Chicken Florentine.

Alllllrrriiigghttyyyy, I will now apply this strategy and go “balls to the wall” (or whatever is the female equivalent of a demonstration of great courage): let’s get together for a consensual cup of coffee this weekend. Nothing more, nothing less. Although in my fantasy, this also involves sucking my teeth at you and wiggling my eyebrows until you give into my feminine charms and head back to my place for whatever two people of the opposite sex can think of doing in a room with the door closed. Hey- give me a break, it’s been a while.

Write me or bite me. Either way, let’s get this over with.


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