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Peas Seeking Carats

March 22, 2008

Dear {current potential love interest},

It’s hard to believe I’ve only known you for {insert approp. time frame}. Your efforts have been thoroughly appreciated and duly noted. Who knew {insert shared activity} could be such an utter blast?!# I simply lost track of time.

This next part is hard to say in a breezy tone, so I’ll just come out with it.

[Pause for effect while reader wonders what comes after the drumroll.]

At some point, my hopes for our budding acquaintance are likely to be dashed. We all know what a spontaneous, go-with-the-flow type of gal I am so I would like to have the opportunity to be surprised and genuinely taken aback. However, there are mitigating factors involved (the usual- friendships, standard weekly commitments, business obligations and I am trying to work in time for either origami or belly dancing lessons).

To that end, a general outline of your usual dating patterns would be helpful. Here are a few examples of the kind of information I seek:

  • Is your casually mentioning shared future activities/plans more than a polite conversation transition?
  • If you take down your online profile, does it mean that you have your hands full dating 3 other ladies OR are you using the extra time to pick out tasteful names for our children and select a China pattern?

Feel free to riff on these questions and attach any pertinent estimated timelines for phone call frequency decrescendo, supplemental graphs and stick figure illustrations. Do keep in mind that, like clockwork, I will be particularly susceptible to bouts of insecurity and emotional upheaval due to hormonal surges every 14th through the 16th. Kindly consider this when planning any displays of erratic behavior and disclosures of a disturbing nature.

Cautiously yours,

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