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Allergy Season

March 6, 2006

girl-crying_lIt’s too cold for ragweed.  Thank goodness my allergist ruled out red wine.  THAT would have been a damned shame.  Dust mites may make my skin itch like crazy, but I’ve been vigilant about destroying their outposts since I was given the “mite talk” by the allergy test lab technician.  That’s not the kind of talk you need to hear more than once.  The first time was embarassing enough.
(Internal defensive response: “So what if I like sharing my bed with millions? Sometimes I get lonely.”)

Now that I’ve “walked the grid” and eliminated the usual suspects, I am faced with the only logical conclusion remaining:  I am allergic to boys.   It’s taken years of journaling to draw this conclusion.  The evidence is circumstantial, but compelling.  I do make room for the possibility that it’s the not the boys themselves, but rather their dander.  The following symptoms have coincided with the proximity of a boy too many times to be a coincidence:

1- Irritated, teary eyes
2- Runny nose, frequent sniffling
3- Shortness of breath
4- Temporary episodes of color blindness: no discernable difference between red flags & the white ones

It seems like a funny thing to be allergic to, kind of like wheat or dairy.  How do you go about cutting out something so ubiquitous?  It soooo extreme.   For instance: I have been mildly allergic cats for as long as I can remember and I still cuddle with them.  Maybe I can work out something similar for boys.  It’s not like I can ask  people to lock all the boys and cats into a spare room when I’m a guest in their home.  Errrr…. Hmmm… I’ll just cut down a little.  See boys on only  on alternate Tuesdays?  How about only when moon is waxing gibbous?

Reality check: as if I could adhere to a schedule (esp. an arbitrary one)?  Whatev.   Anti-histamine it is.  Now would be a good time to buy stock in pharmaceutical firms producing loratadine since that is my drug of choice.  The male companionship will surely take the edge off any liver problems attributed to chronic over-medication.

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